In your blog, reflect on aspects of your personality and/or upbringing which make you able to relate to strangers easily—or not so easily. What lessons can you take from Chapter 14 of Messages to improve your ability to connect with others?
A few evaluations have allowed me to really explore the way I communicate with others. McKay, Davis, and Fanning note that many people have social anxiety over meeting new people (due to a fear of the unknown and anxiety over change) and suggests ways to overcome a fear of strangers when dealing with the ability to connect with others. As an ENTJ Myers-Briggs Personality type and a Woo (winning others over) and Maximizer StrengthsQuest, I am someone who is encouraged by meeting new people - it is one of my favorite things to do - and I enjoy jobs that require meeting and networking with many people. I am genuinely interested in people's ideas and thoughts. I have an enthusiastic and energetic personality and my background in Journalism gives me the ability to relate to people's mannerisms and style of talking to assure efficiency in communication.
As a Maximixer, I am not going to simply walk away after making a connection. I take their commitments very seriously when I know they are of value. I use people (in a good way) to acquire knowledge and self-growth in all aspects of life. I know there is something to learn from everyone I meet, and I want to encourage sharing of skills and experience in my coworkers and supervisees. As someone who is extremely direct and straightforward, my life is like an open book, so people tend to trust me with sensitive information.
This helps to make me an effective leader. In Messages, it is noted that people can be influenced by habitual negative thoughts (McKay, 2009). I quell this by addressing what I may feel someone is "vibing" from me through their actions - lack of eye contact, stuttering, terseness, etc. My staff knows I care about them in a holistic manner - I am noted for having strong affections and sentimental streaks, yet I do not play favorites. My team knows they will always get honest feedback. I give what I would like to receive (2009). I am immediate in getting to them about issues and I am able to turn conflict situations into positive lessons.
Alas, as a Maximizer, I have a difficult time scaling down projects, and I can become overwhelmed in my ideas. Students I advise note that I have extremely high standards and expectations (both a strength and a weakness) and want things to change overnight at times. I get over anger and sadness quickly and take constructive criticism well, but I do not like to be attacked. Overall I am a fair-minded and interested in doing the right thing for as many people as possible. I do not need to have my own way and appreciate when people use me and allow me to use them for support and growth.
References
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: the Communication Skills Book (3rd edition). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
References
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: the Communication Skills Book (3rd edition). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
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